Guys, this one is not funny at all. Not by once bit. In Malawi, if you make the mistake of farting in public, you have committed a ‘criminal’ offense. Those of us who are professionals when it comes ‘messing’ must find a way to steer clear of Malawi or else may be found guilty of misdemeanor. It is against the laws of the land.
Okay guys, if mistakenly wake up to find yourself in Somalia, one thing you mustn’t do, else you get yourself in trouble with the authorities is to carry old chewing gum, by sticking it to the tip of your nose. It is illegal and can get you a ticket to jail. You say?
This one’s for the ladies. Ladies, if your man is from Swaziland, you may think twice before say, ‘’Yes I do.’ The catch? If you ever make the mistake of putting on pants, or what we call trousers around here; be it jeans trouser, leggings or anything wey long, wey be like man clothe, dem fit pull am for street. It is illegal.
Guys chill 😉 I know some of y’ll will be wondering Chad ke? Wetin I wan go find for there. But make una no forget say abroad na abroad; and Chad na abroad ehen J. We know say una like selfie, but abeg if you go try am for Chad, na arrest straight. It is illegal to take photographs in Chad with a proper permission from the government.
If after being a Muslim you wake up one morning to say that you are no longer interested, the Mauritania government has said that it is not possible. Ko Possible. You’d be given 3 days to repent of your decision after which you’d be put to death. Not kidding fam. No woke twitter to protest anything.
In Kenya, you can be arrested for walking around with no money in your pocket. Guys, it’s a crime to be poor in Kenya. If you no get money, hide ya face, else you may end up in Kenyan SARS cell.
If your name is Monica and you are planning on traveling to Guinea, think again. It is illegal—it is a crime to bear the name Monica in Guinea.
In Nigeria, wearing a tattoo, or owning an iPhone or having a car as a young person is a crime because, if SARS catches you, errr errrr, you know the rest. I didn’t say it o. Ehen.
If you like this, you’ll like This is the Craziest Whatsapp Conversation you’ll See in 2017
5 Ways Your Caterer Can Ruin Your Event or Party
A well-planned event/party seems to run flawlessly. Drinks flow, food is served appropriately, empty plates cleared away, and there never seems to be any mess! Creating a smooth-running event is more than just arriving with food and drinks – there is also a fair bit of science behind a fabulous party! When a caterer asks you a lot of questions before giving you a full estimate, it is because they are trying to determine all the variables in the “party equation.” This way, they can determine the perfect menu. And amount of items needed to bring to your party to make your event a success!
This is really good and should be the case always for any event, but…
There are equal cases where the exact opposite of the above is experienced and events end up being a disaster in terms of food, drinks, and other refreshments. On that note, here are 5 possible ways your caterer can ruin your event.
Food Poisoning: This can be a real big disaster if you ask me. Now I’m not talking about guests being poisoned in the real sense of it. No, not at all! What I mean is a situation where the food is not well made or some guests are allergic to something in the food. And they have to keep going to the bathroom, taking turns in the process. This will totally ruin the day and give guests something unpleasant to talk about long after the event.
Not Enough Food: This is one bad experience that keeps occurring in a lot of events today. You’re invited to a party or an event with the hope that you will get proper refreshment, because you were counted (Invitation). When it’s time to be served, the catering attendant tells you there’s no more food and nothing can be done about it. This is one experience I wouldn’t want any event organiser to go through, especially if the flaw came from the Caterer.
Caterer not showing up on Time: Imagine having to organise an event where everything seemed to be going smoothly, guests are having a great time, up to the point where the time for food and refreshments come up. You look around for the Caterer, who was supposed to have showed up long before the event commenced and the caterer is nowhere to be found. Imagine if you have already paid the caterer ahead for the service, yet the caterer still shows up late or, disappears during the event or in a worse case, does not show up at all.
Corrupt Caterer: Think about this for a minute; you have paid your caterer based on your needs. You have also communicated the importance of quality to your caterer and not just quantity. Then in the middle of the event, the food is served and you notice everyone squeezing their face in a disappointing manner. You then taste the food yourself and find out that your caterer did not just go against your requirements and instructions, but went ahead to provide distasteful food. How would you feel? I sure know how I would feel…
Overall Terrible Service: Think about this as well. You’ve planned out a great birthday party, the venue is amazing, great decor, fantastic music and entertainment, and everybody is having a nice time. Then the menu is served; your caterer comes in with his/her entourage and you expect to have a great service to round things up. Imagine this is not the case, first the food isn’t tasty as expected, and the Caterer’s attendants are as rude as can be without the slightest knowledge of proper customer service & etiquette. To worsen things, the food and drinks finishes before half the guests arrive. Do I need to ask again how you would feel?
Jambolo.com, specializes in showcasing only, caterers with a wealth of experience, mostly with respect to service delivery and professionalism. Caterers on Jambolo.com are properly scrutinized and reviewed appropriately before being registered on the platform. So that when the next client comes calling, he/she will be well informed towards making a good choice/selection.
Are you looking for a Caterer to make your event special and memorable? Visit Jambolo.com today, your peace of mind matters to us.
5 Types of People You Find in Comment Sections Online
It’s amazing the type of people that comment online these days, the kind of things they write and their motives or motivation to comment. Below are 5 types of people that comment on posts online especially in Nigeria.
The Attention Seeker
This one may not even read or understand what the post is about. In a bid to get attention as always they just comment. Sometimes without even thinking. The idea is to try to be funny or sound really silly so as to get attention. In pidgin English its called NOTICE ME. One would wonder what the feeling is like after the NOTICE ME achievement.
The Likes Seeker
This one just wants people to like their comments. In fact, they go about commenting everywhere gathering likes all over the internet. I might be missing out on a cash cow here. Is it possible that they likes are being monetized? Why maybe its for some levels online. Oh yes once you have gathered so many likes by commenting everywhere you automatically become very popular online which then can amount to a cash out. I would go one forever but i really don’t want to crack my brain too much on this one.
The I Too Know group. This one knows everything. At least they believe they know everything. So its only right to have an opinion at every opportunity. It’s funny sometimes when I see comments from this group. Like, Trump is a loser, Fifa World Cup 2018 was trash, Peter and Paul of Psquare are now upcoming artists. You always think you know best even though you have not achieved 1/10th of what any of the people you try to belittle online have achieved.
First To Comment
I’m still trying to figure out the value in being the first to comment on posts whether on Instagram, Facebook, Nairaland etc. Is it that by being the first to comment everyone else gets to see your comment and then follow you or think you are the coolest? If you are one of those that gets overly excited about being the first to comment, please share you motive with us that don’t get it. It would be interesting to know.
The Send Me Money Crew
This is become a real business online as more and more people are joining the SEND ME MONEY crew. I know things are tough in the country. It is tough for everyone. But some of us would rather work for the money and if we must beg for it, it won’t be online in every comment section possible. It has forgotten so bad that you can’t even tell who really needs help anymore. You could post about being hungry with no money and someone would still comment CAN ANYONE HELP ME WITH JUST 5K? I NEED TO PAY FOR A TEXT BOOK FOR MY UPCOMING EXAMS. Haba, I just wrote about being hungry with no money. Didn’t you read?
These guys are like the online comment police waiting to read other people’s comments to launch theirs. Theirs can turn out to be an attack, criticism, spelling error detecting, and more. It list is endless because these guys don’t play. They can be unpredictable. Some folks in this group tend to play the role of The ITK from time to time. And they can go back and forth in the comment section in a bid to prove a point.
5 Things You Should Know About Jambolo.com
Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just, at the click of a button, gain access to a wide range of professional Artisans (Carpenters, Plumbers, Hairdressers, etc.) all over Lagos, no matter your location? Wouldn’t it be better still, if these Artisans apart from being professionals, were also really affordable and easily reachable?
Best of all, I’m sure you’d feel a lot safe or should I say have peace of mind, just knowing that your Artisan has already gone through strict verification, so you don’t even bother about the possibility of a mischievous conduct, while his/her service is being offered. I’m sure you’re telling yourself right now… of course I would love all of these services, if only they were true and possible.
Well, no need to pinch yourself any further, Jambolo.com was designed to make it all happen for you, just as stated above. Jambolo.com provides listings of over 100 different categories of artisans and SME’s in Nigeria, and also provides information on their physical location (i.e. addresses) and contact details (i.e. phone numbers) of each SME service provider.
To enable you use Jambolo.com effectively, below are 5 important things you should know, this way, you’re sure of getting great service as well as a great experience.
1- What cities does Jambolo cover?
For now, Jambolo.com covers only Lagos metropolis but there are plans to expand to other major cities in Nigeria in the coming months.
2- Does Jambolo negotiate cost of services provided on behalf of users?
No. At this point in time, Jambolo.com does not offer this service. Service costs can be negotiated and agreed with the service provider after engaging them through the portal.
3- Can artisans/small business service providers upload their business details on Jambolo?
No. The Jambolo Business Development Team will need to physically visit the service provider or any affiliated association that controls such services in that particular area field surveys to verify the identity and capacity of the prospective vendor to deliver specific services. This procedure ensures that only Service Providers that are physically verified are listed on jambolo.com
4- What do I do if I am very satisfied/dissatisfied with the quality of work provided by an
artisan/small business on Jambolo?
A rating tool is currently being developed on that would help with feedback on the quality of work provided by the service provider. This will provide valuable information for other users who wish to use the service provider in the future and help us serve your better.
5- Will Jambolo Online Services guarantee quality of work produced by listed artisans?
No. Our site, Jambolo.com is a platform that aggregates and provides access to frequently needed blue collar services. The site also seeks to promote quality customer services and competition amongst such service providers in Nigeria.
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